Today is the last day of September.

I feel like I don’t have a lot to show for it, aside from some debt, a quarter-of-a-period paystub, and a couple new scars. Needless to say, it’s been a rough month and all I can hope for this next month are some new experiences, new friends, and some good memories. I fully intend on doing my best to make these things happen and to see what comes of every day.

Things I’m looking forward to:
1. getting paid on the 15th, my full salary’s worth
2. paying down my credit card bill (and some of my student loan debt (?))
3. purchasing some new pets
4. joining a gym
5. autumn
6. starting some new books

I can’t wait to join the gym because I haven’t worked out on a regular basis for about two months now, since I’ve officially been down here in Georgia for a month. I stopped working out before I left home because my schedule simply became too busy, not allowing me to do the things I wanted to do. I did, however, make efforts to jog and ride my brother’s bike, but I wasn’t able to get to a proper gym with a free weights section or anything of the sort. I also know that this is no excuse for not keeping in shape, but now I can feel the effects of my two months of laziness, and it has been slowly eating away at me every day.

So the question remains…which gym? Currently, I’m between two gyms: LA Fitness and Gold’s Gym. I haven’t been to either one’s facilities for a tour yet, but I selected them based on their proximity to different aspects of my life; LA Fitness is close to the apartment, and Gold’s Gym is one block from my work.

I like LA Fitness for the fact that it seems to offer more amenities than Gold’s…like a lap pool and large weight room. The lap pool is especially important to me, since I am fairly certain that I shouldn’t be running anymore. However, lacking any other ideas for keeping up with cardio fitness other than swimming, I don’t see that a gym that only offers the standard stuff off of a cardio balcony would be beneficial to me. Why suffer through thirty minutes a day of destroying all of the cartilage in my joints, when I could glide along in the water? And reap more physical benefits doing it?

Gold’s Gym, however, is close to work, and I have a feeling that if I joined, I could convince at least one co-worker to go with me afterwards. Having a good workout/lifting partner is key, for me, for keeping up motivation and improvement. Working out by myself is nice sometimes, especially for activities which only I like (swimming and running, for example), but for lifting, I like having someone there to talk to and to spot me. Not having someone there is horribly de-motivating. And I could go with this person after work, and we could attend several fitness classes which are timed opportunely right as we leave the building.

I suppose it will come down to price. But we’ll see. I have several weeks to decide (need to get paid before I can put money down for a membership!), and plan on taking full advantage of each gym’s membership grace period and facility tours. I’ll keep you posted.

The other thing I’m looking forward to off that list is getting more pets.

I love pets. I love most animals. I would have lots of them running around if I could take care of them, afford them, and spend lots of time with them. Currently, I work, and so a high-maintenance animal is out of the question. A dog, for instance, whom I would hate to neglect.

Fish, however, I’m very interested in having. While they don’t provide all that much companionship, they’re very soothing to look at. I’ve had my goldfish for about eight months now, and I find it fulfilling taking care of them, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant they are. I don’t know what new fish breeds I’ll be purchasing (they won’t be goldfish, however), or what size tank I will get, but it will be an improvement over my crappy three gallon plastic monstrosity. Again, I’ll keep you all informed.

Looks like I have something to write about after all!

So the last few weeks at my job have been a process of getting to know people, learning the ways of the office, and generally settling into my few assigned tasks. And believe me, they are few. I suppose if I did nothing other than what my job description entailed, I would sit at my desk with my arms folded, staring blankly ahead for a total of maybe… six hours a day. Why? Because I answer the phone. This takes all of 30 seconds per call depending on how talkative the customer decides to be (as a general rule, the southerners are much more chatty than anyone from north of Virginia). Then I transfer them to the appropriate extension and wait for the next call. Sometimes I enter invoices, other times I mail things or print labels, or do small tasks that the other people ask of me. But basically my job is very simple, at least at this point.

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I’m feeling very scattered at the moment. It’s been a very stressful few days.

Maybe it’s because I always impose deadlines on myself. At work, I’ve finally been working on a project routinely. Meaning… that out of the eight and a half hours every day that I sit at my desk, I spend probably five solid hours working on it. When I was hired, I had boasted of a rudimentary knowledge of web skills, not anticipating that I would have to use them so early. Then again, I didn’t realize that there was a Market so close. And of course, nobody thought to inform me of the master plan to unveil a website in time for the October 1st Market in our showroom in High Point, North Carolina.

One of my other grievances about working at that office is that communication is poor, at best. The employees, while lovely, do seem to think I can mind-read, and except somewhat ridiculous things without having informed me. Like that there was a meeting at 4:30 that I was supposed to attend. And then they wonder why I’m not there. …Maybe because nobody told me or called me or wrote me an email?

Things are stressful back at ‘home’ too. But I’m trying to work through the issues there (and yes, there are lots of issues).

That’s all I have to say for now. I’m not feeling particularly loquacious, I suppose. Maybe more tomorrow.

I was confused at first when I watched this, not knowing the context or the man himself, but as the video went on I was happy to hear what he had to say:

Now, if only Maryland would follow suit. Or the democrats. That would be nice. Maybe we’d be a tiny step closer to some semblance of equality after all.

Oh Clive Owen, why did you do such a crappy movie?

“Shoot ‘Em Up” spoilers ahead.
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Return service requested: Piedmont Hospital

(Page: 1 of 2)

Katherine Abrahams

Atlanta, GA

Dear Ms. Abrahams:

Thank you for choosing our facility for your recent healthcare needs. Our records indicate that you do not have insurance coverage. Please pay the balance due. If you have insurance or any questions, please call (678) 842 – 2000 between 8:00 AM and 4:30 PM Monday through Friday.

Statement Date:                                09/11/2007

Service Date(s):     09/05/2007 – 09/05/2007

Account Number:                           ************

Total Charges:                                        $1,765.00

Total Payments to Date:                            $0.00

Account Balance:                                   $1,765.00

Date Due:                                                 09/26/2007

Billing question or an itemized bill request? Call your customer service representative at 678-842-2000. You may now pay your bill online at www.piedmonthospital.com. 

How are we doing??

Our goal is to exceed your expectations for great patient care and service, and we rely on your feedback. If you receive a satisfaction survey in the mail, please take a few moments to complete and return it. Thank you for the privilege of caring for you.  And because we care so much, we have not provided an envelope for your return payment, nor do we care where your wallet went. No, our security cameras did not pick up who stole the wallet, so don’t ask. Thank you, once again!

I was more than surprised at several things when I arrived at the Department of Driver Services for Georgia.

First, that it was located in a small trailer just off of I-75, and right across from the parking lot that boasts a huge peach and the Olympic rings, a tribute to the 1996 Olympics held here. The trailer was brown with a green roof and looked as decrepit and old as the portables that were outside my old high school. Or, for those from UMBC, think of the Health Services trailers between Susquehanna and Chesapeake, only older, without siding, and with a flat roof.

Second, that it moved so quickly.

I don’t know. Maybe they’re always fast at 7:45 on a Saturday morning, who knows? I just feel like they should have hassled me more. Maybe I’m also just used to dealing with grief from the Maryland MVA. You know… waiting in line for an hour and a half to three hours, being informed when I get up to the desk finally that I’m missing some important paperwork and have to go wait again after I fill it out. The usual bureaucratic bullshit from an institution staffed with disgruntled workers who aren’t paid enough for their work with the irritating public. Why irritating? Because no one’s happy to have to go into the MVA/DMV. You only go in there once every requisite five years to renew your picture, or because you lost something, or because they’ve asked you to pay up for something else. It’s usually never a happy occasion.

I’d gone online to make sure I had all the appropriate documents before applying for my new license. Some of the reading told me that I would need a certified letter from the MVA that said yes, my license was stolen, and yes, I am still allowed to drive. Well, I retrieved my driving records but was not able to find any place to request a letter.

Shit, I thought. That probably meant I was going to get turned away at the DMV today. I decided to go anyway, to at least clear up some myths if not get the license.

And when I told my story of woe to the information desk, they gave me an unpitying look of boredom and asked me to kindly take a number; I’d be served momentarily.

So I sat down for about ten minutes, walked up to the counter when they called my number, and retold the story. Again, the same look of you’re holding up the line. Just shut up and take your stupid license information. They wrote down my height, weight, and date of birth, stamped the forms, and thrust them at me without much ceremony. The license was made in a machine just behind one of the tellers, a machine which emitted a high-pitched whine followed by determined grinding for each card created. In five minutes, I was holding a brand-spanking new, hot-off-the-press license.

Is it just me? Is there more to it, or was I expecting too much?

Well, I can drive safely now. No more hauling my passport around. And I’m officially a resident of Georgia. This makes me both happy and melancholy, like I’m betraying my home state somehow. Ridiculous, of course.

(I do have to admit that this license picture is the best one yet. No wanting to ‘lose’ my license just to retake the photo this time!)

Every day so far has been the same, with minor variations in each moment and fluctuations in my mood and health. I can’t tell you how much I’ve looked forward Friday night since last Friday. Amazingly, it’s not the idea of going out, talking to people, and dancing that gets me excited for tonight, but the prospect of actually getting some well-deserved and missed sleep. Being able to sleep in tomorrow is the most tantalizing notion.

I’m sorry I don’t have more to say right now. Work saps all my energy.

Also, this has been bothering me: if you don’t even want to keep up a friendship for appearance’s sake, then don’t fucking talk to me. Ignore the emails I send you. Block me off your buddy list. Don’t let me keep on operating under the delusion that we are still ‘friends.’ Die in a fire Leave me alone.

It’s been raining here. A large tree came down in the neighborhood, blocking the garbage truck’s progress down the road. Didn’t affect me though. I just happened to see it on my way out this morning when I looked both ways to avoid a collision.

Apparently it’s been storming terribly every day. I’m shut between eleven and then seven floors of concrete though, so I miss the storms. Several days now it’s been perfectly sunny and clear when I go into work, and then storming and wet when I’ve come out. I’m not sure how I feel about this, except that I feel like I miss so much having to work a dull 9-5 now.

It really is just little things that make a day worth living.

I wasn’t so sure about this morning. I’d had a crappy three days at work the week before, and dreaded having to go back for another week. This morning I woke early, dragged myself into work early (too early). So early that I ended up sitting by myself on the 11th floor and gazing out the window. I tried to write, but nothing came. Instead, I watched the traffic go by, the tiny people wandering back and forth on the street. The steam rising from the Westin building just next door. I could see tiny fans turning in their exhaust vents, and if I squinted I could make out the curtains just beyond the tinted glass. Panning over the scene, I realized I could see the rooftop pool of the hotel, and wished I was across the street there, vacationing.

But work started, came, and went. We didn’t get let out until about 10 after 6, our last late Market day. I was so happy to leave, but I tried not to betray the sentiment too obviously. I calmly walked downstairs and north a few blocks to my car, which was parked in a public lot.  As I left, the air was balmy, warm. I’d missed the entire sunny day in my small office, but it didn’t matter now. I could feel the rays of sun on my legs, warming the linen pants I was wearing. My heels made substantial thunks against the pavement, announcing my presence to everyone, but I didn’t mind for once.

I drove north and then east on North Avenue, trying to make my way towards Target. There were things I needed to return, but I’d never been to a Target in the city. They’re building one in the shopping center near our house (Atlantic Station), but it’s not finished yet.

The buildings became hip and ‘artsy,’ decorated with painted faces and designs. People pedaled by on bicycles, and the shops themselves looked trendy. I realized with a jolt where I was, and a warm feeling flooded my body.  I was transported back to the time I had walked through here, hand-in-hand with someone I loved. Things (except for the fact that I’d forgotten clean underwear for the weekend) were fine. The air was warm for October, and I was with people I cared about. We were walking down the strip of stores. This might have been after the outdoor music festival we attended, laying in the grass all day with orange cups of beer here and there. I don’t remember exactly.

The memory stayed with me as I pulled into Target a few streets over. It was as if something guided me to everything I needed. Even a quick foray into the grocery store was fruitful, and I drove back feeling serene and at peace with everything.
I felt happy. Even the traffic tonight seemed happy. I didn’t feel tense or enraged driving up I-75 towards my home, just content. I enjoyed the music on the radio and the air on my face and realized that for the first time in more than a month I felt like things were going to work out just fine no matter what happened.
Having been alone and scared in this city for almost two weeks now, I’d say that’s a vast improvement. And I’m excited to see what will come.

Today was my third day of work, and I’m going into my first full week.

I am not sure how to describe the place, except that it was both as unique and familiar a place as I’ve ever been. The concepts are all familiar. The people and procedures are not.

The company I work for is sort of like Hallmark for grown ups, if Hallmark dealt exclusively with fine home decor. And we’re talking about grownups with money and lots of time to spend wandering around, furnishing their own stores with things for customers to buy. And we’re on the wholesale end, which means we sell from the vendor to the buyer, not the consumers. I’ve never been on this end of things before but it’s interesting.

There’s a smell to the place that I sense every time I walk over the threshold. I’m not sure what it is. It’s refined. Lightly floral but also musky, a smell that you can tell has been in a room for a long time. Not dusty. It’s interesting. I’m sure I’ll associate it with that place for the entire duration of my employment, which I hope will be at least a year.

It’s brightly lit with artificial lights, giving it a garish glare. I don’t like that part much; I prefer natural light, but the showroom is the largest one on the eleventh floor and smack in the middle of the building; we have three entrances which people can approach from three sides, hence the lack of windows. Imagine being in a decorative home catalog surrounded by rugs, lamps, nic-nacs,  pillows, throws, silverware, candlesticks, decorative boxes…. any manner of things one can think of, we sell. It’s incredible, the volume that this showroom encompasses.

There are two desks and a backroom. The first desk is towards the front of the store, and it’s a large half-moon situated so that two people sit at computer at all times. The middle desk is shorter and made for just one person. I’ve worked at both so far and somehow magically ended up alone both times. The backroom has five offices and a large kitchen and break room, so that’s where I hope to be spending most of my time.

My impressions of the place? I’m not sure I like it right now. I feel like the people… communicate poorly and treat me as a non-entity. Is this because I’m unpleasant? Probably not. New? Yep. And I hate being outside of the loop, standing around and gawking, looking silly because I don’t know any of the protocol or how they regard one another. I’m starting to figure out who I like and don’t like, unfortunately, and this annoys me since at Hallmark I like almost everybody. This company is far too small for me to already be disliking certain people, but maybe there will come a time when I like everyone. The people I’ve interacted heavily with so far, though, are my favorites. They speak to me as if I’m really there, like I’m a new addition but with a certain respect and curiosity. That I can handle much better than icy silence.

That, and the fact that the last two days were mind-numbingly boring… maybe it’ll get better later on. I don’t think, though, that there’s anything I like less than being idle. I need to be doing something, either creating or finishing projects, keying in numbers… something. Otherwise my brain turns off and I mentally check out, become sloppy and lazy. It’s terrible. Hopefully they’ll realize this soon, too.

Well, here’s to my first official week!