I think I must have written and re-written this entry eight or nine times.

But instead of everything I was venting about before and then deleted, instead I am putting out into the universe the hope that this all will blow over, that my personal life will settle down again (one way or the other, but hopefully in a positive way), and that work will make some decisions and do what’s best for the entire company, instead of just individuals.

Today, during the quiet of the morning and before most of my coworkers arrived at work, I sent off my last car payment to CarMax Auto Finance.  I wrote out the last check after messing up and voiding one–a good thing, because my final payoff amount was lower than what I’d originally written in the little box on that particular check–sealed it inside a smaller envelope, affixed a stamp, and then skipped out to the mailbox in the front of our office complex.

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• Blindness - Jose Saramago
• Burnt Offerings – Laurell K. Hamilton
• We Need to Talk About Kevin – Lionel Shriver

These are the books I’ve finished so far this month, and to be honest, I’m not sure where to go next.

It seems like nobody is paying to the Top 100 Novels list anymore, and so my motivation for it has flagged as well.  This leaves me with the 10 Most Disturbing list, which I am making my way through, and the books for our book club through work. I believe this month’s pick was The Help, although I couldn’t tell you what it’s about or who’s it by since I missed the meeting.

As far as We Need to Talk About Kevin, I think it was less disturbing than some of the gore and rape in Blindness, yet it deserves its slot underneath American Psycho. I think the reason why it was disturbing is because it plants the idea that despite your best effort at raising a child, he may just turn out wrong some day.

Kevin, in this case, seemed to the mother, wrong from the very beginning, dour and mean-spirited even as a newborn infant. Yet nobody did anything about his behavior or attitudes while growing up, and in the end when he brutally murders a group of students at school with a crossbow, as well as his own father and sister… only then does anyone ask questions.

I didn’t really enjoy this book, and I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that a) I don’t really like children anyway, b) I don’t really want children either and the main character, Eva Katchadourain confessed to never having wanted children at all, and c) the book is written from Eva’s point of view, in a series of long-winded and pretentious-sounding letters.

Really, I suppose it was the language that turned me off. I found it difficult to relate to and often overblown. However effective it was, however sympathetic (or unsympathetic, as the case may be) Eva was, I never got over how literary the language was. I realize Mrs. Katchadourain was supposed to have been a writer, but maybe I just felt alienated by some of the poetry of it, poetry which makes how she reflects on all these events as unbelievable.

I don’t even know if I recommend this book, but I suppose once I read more down the Most Disturbing list, I’ll see if I still think it should be on here.

Now… to continue… Shall I read Perfume next, or continue struggling through A Tale of Two Cities?

Movies seen this weekend:

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If I may have a moment to rant…

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I like to drive with the windows down, late at night, through the city. Even though my car seems to be on the fritz, and even though I had such a terrible, obnoxious day yesterday, I still enjoy the soft evening air.  It’s the time of year where the breeze smells like flowers and grass and when the sweat of the day still lingers in the air.

Last night, I made my way leisurely back to my apartment, and when I got out the stars were bright overhead. In my complex, the sounds of the city are very distant, reduced to a low, almost imperceptible humming. I feel at peace as I walk back from the mailbox (happy to know that my gas bill has fallen some thirty dollars since last month), then tucked myself into bed and fell asleep.

Reasons to see this movie:

• Sam Worthington. Although he has the same accent no matter where he is and what world he’s on, he’s still yummy and seems to hold his own weight in these movies he’s recently been in
• Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes, cast as brothers. Zeus and Hades, respectively. I squealed with excitement seeing them together. Both phenomenal actors. Have they been in movies together before this? If so, why haven’t I see them?

Complaints we will inevitably hear about:

• The plot is poor. Granted, this is a remake. But it’s overblown and silly in some parts, riddled with clichés and ridiculous scenarios.
• The 3D seems gratuitous. Although the movie would be just as silly without it, I found myself almost wishing it was in 2D. The camerawork wasn’t done well enough for me to enjoy the 3D, and all, sometimes giving me a headache as monsters tore apart humans, as spears were thrown… Ugh. Please just stabilize the camera and quit making me feel cross-eyed. Thanks.
• Ralph Fiennes’ Hades seemed to just be a raggedy version of Voldemort. Everytime Hades flourished on screen I found myself waiting for him to scream out Avada Kedavra!!!!
• I know this is a remake, but I wonder if in the original they had changed the Perseus legend as much as they did in this one.  This story resembles almost nothing from what I remember of Perseus from my Greek mythology class (save for taking Medusa’s head and visiting the witches). Whatever. You can argue that it’s the writers taking creative liberties, here.
• I dislike how Io is Perseus’ reward for doing everything right… versus Zeus bringing back his dead family. First, because it seems sexist to me that a woman should be rewarded like property (although whatever… you can say that back then it was different), but second because in mythology he married Andromeda, anyway… why the change?

What more do I have to say? This movie is a big-budget action film, but poorly written and poorly executed. If you’re looking to kill an afternoon over the weekend, by all means. Go see it. I would go just to see Sam Worthington running around in a tunic, but that’s just me.

Most of this movie seems to have been made simply so the CGI artists could say to us, look what we can do! I suppose if you take this as straight entertainment, then it’s fine, one of those so-called “popcorn movies.”

But if you’re looking for something deeply moving… skip it.